Citizens of Sweatsville: Dead Guy

Dead Guy is approximately 55 years old and balding. His workout consists of riding the "old school" stationary bicycle. This is the kind where the handlebars move back and forth and the "tire" spins around like a fan when you peddle.

There are two things that make Dead Guy noteworthy. Before Dead Guy travels upstairs to get on his stationary bicycle, he has to stretch. There are many places to stretch at the gym, most of which are tucked away and not out in the middle of the cardio area. Apparently, Dead Guy likes to stretch in front of others. His location of choice is in front of the StairMaster. For some reason, 75% of the time that I am on the StairMaster, I look up to find him standing with his legs stretched apart and his bicycle short-wearing butt up in the air, in all its glory. It's a little distracting, but I'm a mature adult, so I don't let it bother me. Who am I kidding? If you are reading this, you know me and know that statement is false. I try not to look, I really do. It's like a train wreck and I can't look away. He continues to do other stretches that are obscene to my immature mind.

What does this have to do with being called Dead Guy, you ask? Well, his name was actually coined by Katie. The first time we saw Dead Guy, he was on the bike and we were lifting weights. Katie looked over and said, "That guy on the bike looks like he is dead!" I looked over and saw a middle aged, flushed-looking man riding the "old school" bike with his eyes closed and his mouth gaping open. His head remained still while his legs peddled and his arms pushed and pulled the handlebars. And so, Dead Guy was named. The name stuck because anytime he is on that bike, his eyes stay closed and his mouth remains open.

If only I could figure out a way to take a picture of the Citizens.

Next Week in Citizens of Sweatsville: The Magazine Girls